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That was all the confirmation I needed, I grabbed his hand and walked. Our back garden faced a dark wooded area, many people thought it was scary but growing up next to it soothed any fears I may have had. I headed towards the woods, Colin following behind me without a word. I quickened my pace, I was getting anxious and time wasn't moving fast enough, we weren't moving fast enough. About 50 metres or so later we were in the middle of a shaded area, where no-one could see, which was all I needed. There had been only silence except the three words Colin had whispered back in the garden. I reached out to him and automatically he made movement to hug me but that was not my intentions. I grabbed his T-shirt and forcefully pulled it over his head, clutching his skin to bring him closer to me I kissed him hard, almost painfully, needing the skin to skin contact. The feeling of his tongue darting about my mouth as he sensed my urgency. My hands automatically moved to tug at the zip. For that whole day after she left and that night my emotions ran the gamut from hurt to sadness to depression and finally to anger. I was angry with everything and everyone, especially God. How could a benevolent, loving God allow this to happen to me, to us?I met Alyssa for the first time the day after Susan left; it was love at first sight. She took my hand and I looked into her bright blue eyes and I was hers from that moment on. That meeting destroyed my depression, eased my hurt, and in large part erased my anger. Only the sadness remained but it was a shadow of what it had been; with Alyssa front and center I had no time to be sad.For close to twenty years, we spent almost every day and night together. The evenings that she went out with friends were hard on me. I would pace back and forth like a lion in a cage until she came home. As I heard her at the front door I would sit in my big overstuffed chair and pretend I was interested in the newspaper or a book. Alyssa would tell.
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